Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The November saga...Post 1 of 30

Right, so here we are on November 1st, 2006! Due to the fact I’ve gone completely crazy and signed myself up for NamBloPoMo, I’m posting every day this month even if my arms fall off and I’m forced to type with my teeth. (Yes, I’m well aware that is quite a commitment, and I’m even more aware of the fact that I suck sweaty goat balls {TradeMark:www.dooce.com} at sticking to anything; however I’m determined to turn over a new leaf in life by doing this one thing.)

So, last night was Halloween, and after my rant the other day expressing my hate for all things Halloween, I feel rather guilty and sheepish admitting this but…er…I had a perfectly lovely time. In my defense, the only reason we had such fun was because we opted to go with my best friend and her wee one. Best friends make even the dreariest of chores lighter and filled with a lot more laughter. Thank you, best friend of mine, for redeeming the once hated All Hallows Eve for me; quite simply, you rock my socks.

The evening began with my best friend and her two year old arriving, and us walking them about the area. During this walk-about, something occurred that I’m afraid I’m at a loss to interpret. We arrived at a lovely little house on the corner, and the two little ones went on up the steps to trick or treat their dear hearts out. An elderly gentleman answered the door, cheerfully handed the kids their candy, and then proceeded to get something of a gleam in his eye as he looked over their heads at Sally and I.

“What about that little one down there?” He inquired, smiling at me. Suddenly, I was in rather a predicament. Was this eighty year old man suffering the beginnings of dementia, or did I seriously look as though I was a ten year old dressing up as a disabled mother?

“Oh, I’m a mother…” I stammered. “I don’t need any thing…” At this point, I honestly didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended. In either case, the man in front of me was eighty,so I felt uncertain about engaging my ‘slap them until they fall down twitching then run’ technique.

The elderly gentleman was not to be swayed from his mission. “No, I’ve got something here just for you.” He disappeared into his house for a moment, returning a few moments later with what I believe was a bundle of suckers, and handed them to me leaving me no option other than to mumble a humble “thank-you” and accept them. In order to do this, he had to descend a fair number of stairs, as I can’t climb icy stairs in crutches without rather unfortunate results. The mere fact he actually did this proves that man desperately wanted me to have that candy. The question that lingers in the wake of this event is; of course, why the fuck did that elderly gentleman insist upon giving me a bundle of suckers?

I am asking you, dear internet, to aid me in solving the sucker bundle mystery. Please post your thoughts in the comments below. For my part, I shall construct a list of possible motives, which I will post tomorrow. Until then, be good to yourselves and don’t forget to eat lots of your children’s Halloween candy. It’s not really stealing; it’s just saving their teeth and worrying about their health…who could possibly blame you for that?

1 comment:

Lisa said...

I think he could tell you were seething inside your green sweatsuit and wanted to make Halloween more fun for you. :)